You don’t miss him at 11PM when you’re lying in bed alone, waiting for sleep to come and bring you some place else. You miss him at 11AM when you’re surrounded by a bunch of people and are supposed to be doing something else.

At 11PM, you’re alone and you really can’t stop yourself from thinking about other things, other people. Does he miss you as much as you miss him? Do you ever cross his mind as often as he does yours? 

At 11AM, you are in the middle of a busy crowd or riding on a bus. You know your attention should be in that moment, yet your thoughts travel elsewhere. What is he doing at the exact moment he crosses your mind?

But if you think about it, missing someone is half the story. What makes it harder or easier is whether you can do something about it or not. And when you realize you can’t, that’s what makes things a little more difficult. It’s so much easier if you get to see him after work, during the weekends, or sometime within the week or even the month. It’s easy when you get to look forward to a time when you get to meet or talk to each other again. At least you have something to look forward to. But what happens when you don’t? What happens when you’re just stuck with that longing feeling? What are you supposed to do?

Most of the time, you do hang on to that feeling and continue thinking about him. You do spend your days doing what you’re supposed to do, meeting deadlines at work, and being the responsible person that you’re supposed to be. You divert your attention and surround yourself with the people who make you laugh and make you forget a little. You try to care about anything, except him and the thought of missing him. You push the thought of him aside, hide it somewhere deep within you, in the furthest corner of your heart.

 You remind yourself that somehow, maybe you living separate lives is for the best. You just think about how everything’s going to be better in the future and how one day, things will go according to your plans.